CMFH Massive Missives

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RED CARPET:
5pm (PT): Why on earth is Reg interviewing on the carpet? I don't know why it's so hard to find someone interesting to pester folks before the show.
Marion Cotillard is stunning, as usual. Hey, you're from France -- ever heard of Edith Piaf?
Did Travolta spray on his hair?

5:07pm: Javier Bardem...there's just something about him. He can be so creepy and then so suave, but either way, what an amazing actor.
Miley Cyrus...why? I missed out on her 3D flick, so I guess I'm not in the know.

5:12pm: Jennifer Garner - cute as always.
Helen Mirren - future role as a whore house madam? Should be interesting! [must be Love Ranch, directed by hubbie Taylor Hackford]
Daniel Day-Lewis - interesting bling on his wife's dress, put that's petty. He's too cool to tease.
Cameron Diaz - ubiquitous red carpet gal, but I'm not sure why. Nice eye candy, I suppose.
Amy Adams - cute Junebug gal that I have yet to see in Enchanted. If it weren't for its buzz, I probably wouldn't be interested at all.
Old lady, red carpet lotto winners - I'm sure there are no stars walking by right now?

5:22pm: Ellen Page - so lovely and talented, I hope she continues to pick great films to be a part of.
Hilary Swank - the 2-time winner has yet to get great buzz in awhile
Enchanted dancers - again...I'm sure there are stars sauntering somewhere
Bill Conti - 19th year...talking about fire at past show...where're the pretty dresses??
Reg shows the audience - I'm sure the real cameraman don't want him out of the way at this point...

STEWART SETS IT UP:
5:30pm: The show begins w/ goofy animation of movie characters past
Jon Stewart emerges from a giant tube...just to emphasize how tiny he is.
Writer's strike - now, welcome to the makeup sex... Vanity Fair Oscar party canceled instead of asking writers to the shindig... Let's take a moment to congratulate ourselves... Psychopathic killer movies - this town needs a hug? Thank God for teen pregnancy.
Javier - Hannibal Lector + Dorothy Hamil cut... Away from Her - Hillary's dream... Atonement - Yom Kippur... Norbit -- too often Academy ignores movies that aren't good... Michael Clayton - round up hours for lawyers... Tells Dennis Hopper where she is.
Politics:
Iraq movies - stay the course despite popularity... Oscar oldest pres nominee... Pick your Democratic nominee... Usually black man or white woman usually means asteroid about to hit Statue of Liberty... Gaydolf Titler.

AWARDS
Jennifer Garner presents Costume Design: Elizabeth: the Golden Age. Eh, I think there were more creative offerings.

5:47pm: George Clooney - jokes through 80 years of Oscar
(ET music) Overplayed acceptance speeches, cheesy dances, ("My Heart Will Go On" - ew) tearful acceptances
Stewart - watching Lawrence of Arabia on iPhone

5:51pm: Anne Hathaway & Steve Carrel (future Get Smart costars?! OK, they're pretty funny together, but the age difference is a bit much) goofily present Animated Feature: Ratatouille. No surprise.

5:56pm: Katherine Heigl nervously but beautifully presents Makeup: Didier Lavergne & Jan Archibald from La Vie en Rose. Yeah, credit for the less obvious! Marion Cotillard cutely looks thrilled about the award. Agh, they're back to cutting folks out with music. Always lame -- let the winners have their time!

5:59pm: Amy Adams lip-synchs "Happy Working Song" with sparse stage except spinning circles that remind me of the flat Rubix game
Michael Douglas & Catherine Zeta-Jones reflect on a good life full of Oscars

6:06pm: Dwayne Johnson (the mature Rock) presents Visual Effects: The Golden Compass. It's hard to deny a giant polar bear who kicks ass. Ah, geeky winners.
OK, I'm still creeped out by Harrison Ford & Calista Flockhart.

6:10pm: Cate Blanchett presents Art Direction: Sweeney Todd. Fella's sweetly nervous.
Stewart mocks Cate's range, playing pit bull in No Country for Old Men.
Refresher course on past Supporting Actor winners.

6:15pm: Jennifer Hudson presents Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem, who won the applause meter. I still support Casey Affleck, but Bardem is always fantastic and I have no complaints about him winning. Delivers last half to mama en Espanol. Handsome & confident.

If the writers hadn't returned - Oscars salute to binoculars & periscopes, then bad dreams.

6:24pm: Cute Waitress' Keri Russel presents "Raise It Up" from her film August Rush.
Actual singers. Hard to beat the power of the Harlem Choir.

6:29pm: Owen Wilson presents Live Action Short: "The Mozart of Pickpockets". Must be amazing to beat "Tonto Woman."

Bee reflects on life's work before presenting Animated Short: "Peter & the Wolf."

Memories of Supporting Actresses past. Alan Arkin presents Supporting Actress: Tilda Swinton. Wow - an upset. Always a phenomenal and underrated actress. She did a great job and made it a close race for Cate (who still deserves it). And apparently has quite a sense of humor, by her jokes about her agent's buttocks like Oscars, and talk of George Clooney's Batman nipples.

6:45pm: A very pregnant Jessica Alba threw geeks a bone at Scientific Tech Awards.

Two dissed hot actors, Josh Brolin (seriously, no nom?) & James McAvoy deliver famous lines before presenting Best Adapted Screenplay: Coen Brothers, No Country for Old Men. Sweet. As Brolin said when in town to present the film, they're socially retarded. But you gotta love them. You MUST love them.

Explanation of the Oscars process, from nomination to voting. Dry but interesting.
Jon gives a superdelegate joke.

6:53pm: Miley Cyrus presents next Enchanted song, "That's How You Know." Kristin Chenoweth and her lovely voice in a bit more elaborate presentation than Amy Adam's (which could've used something), but still lacking.

Jon gives baby award to Angelina Jolie.
Judi Dench & Halle Berry, er, Jonah Hill & Seth Rogen fight over who they more resemble (of the formerly named ladies) and goofily and randomly present Sound Editing: The Bourne Ultimatum. Winners blank out -- I guess not used to being outside. Ah, the sound geeks get so little credit.
Boys return to present Sound Mixing: The Bourne Ultimatum. That flick must've had some impressive sound. Winner wants to kiss Berry, er, Hill.

Reflections of Best Actresses.
7:10pm: Forest Whitaker presents Best Actress: Marion Cottilard. GOOD! I was so worried they'd screw this one up. She deserves it for a phenomenal performance. So sweetly enthusiastic and joyful - "It is true there are angels in this city."

Jon plays Wii against 11-year-old Harlem singer.
Colin Farrell slides on stage to present Irish film Once's "Falling Slowly." If you haven't seen, much less heard of, this movie - SEE IT. So simple, so sweet -- just like this song. Rousing applause for musicians who are clearly having a good time with this.

Ubiquitous Jack Nicholson presents with a scratchy voice a Best Pic reflection of every single winner. Long and dry.

7:28pm: A buff Renée Zellweger presents Film Editing: The Bourne Ultimatum, continuing their sweep of the techs. 48 years ago his father one, kinda cool. Stewart jokes that someone took lead in Oscar pool based on a guess for the underrated category.

Nicole Kidman, necklace askew, presents Honorary Oscar to 98-year-old production designer Robert Boyle, who describes the act of creating a physical interpretation of a script with emotion in mind. Notes art as bright spot throughout century of conflict.

7:42pm: Penélope Cruz present Foreign Language Film: The Counterfeiters. It was a well-done film, but I'm surprised there wasn't something more impressive.

Patrick Dempsey gets a few squeals before presenting another Enchanted song, "So Close," with ballroom setup and Amy Adams look-alike.

John Travolta dances onto stage as part of song setup, slips where Colin warned them to clean up (no one ever listens to the Irishman). Presents Best Song: "Falling Slowly," from Once, also the audience applause favorite and everyone seems thrilled for them. YEAH!

Spielberg reflects on menopausal moment (his words, not mine) for Schindler's List.

Nice moment: Stewart brings out Marketa Irglova to be able to give her thanks for Best Song, as she was cut off before after Glen Hansard spoke. Stewart said backstage they joked about their awards kissing, she noted they were both guys, then he said, It's Hollywood, so it's OK.

7:58pm: Cameron Diaz, for some reason, presents Cinematography: There Will Be Blood. Such an impressive movie that battles with No Country for Old Men for all of the top honors, but definitely one that tears people into love or hate opinions (I think it's superb).

Hillary Swank presents last year's deaths, extended to Jan.31, 2008... Nice, but always a popularity contest even after they're gone. VIPS: Suzanne Pleshette, Deborah Kerr, Ingmar Bergman, Heath Ledger.

Amy Adams presents Best Score: Atonement, by Dario Marianelli. Definitely a memorable, haunting score.

8:14pm: Tom Hanks introduces Bahdad servicemembers, who present the Best Doc Short: "Freeheld." Tearful thanks for giving attention to fight for same-sex rights.

8:15pm: Hanks presents the heavy duty nominees for Best Doc: Taxi to the Dark Side. If you want to be horrified by the United States' use of torture, see this film to be shocked and enlightened. Director dedicates to Dilawar (focus of film) and father, who was an interrogator in WWII.

Elton John reflects on winning Oscar for The Lion King son, "Can You Feel the Love Tonight."

8:23pm: Yikes, bad joke on name being international movie star or auto dealership - Harrison Ford (plug for upcoming Indy film). Presents Original Screenplay: Juno, by Diablo Cody, winner of audience screams. I just get so happy every time they win something, as it's such a lovely, joyful film. YEAH! Not only is it a great film, but when I spoke to Jason Reitman, he emphasized how much he loved and appreciated everyone who worked on it, and the familial vibe is apparent. I dare you not to love Juno.

Memories of Best Actors. I just remembered -- they threw this together in short time with the writers; too much use of old Oscar shows.

Helen Mirren, looking divine, dramatically presents Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis. Damn straight -- there was no question. He bows before Mirren. Thanks for "whacking me handsomest bludgeon in town." Continues to be charmingly poetic and eloquent.

Memories of Best Director.
Martin Scorsese presents Best Director: Coen Bros., No Country for Old Men. YEA! Two of the best directors alive deserve credit, finally. I so want to see a copy of the referred to "Henry Kissinger: Man on the Go."

Denzel Washington presents Best Picture: No Country for Old Men. Sweet. Such a fantastic, clean, brilliant film.