Sitting in a theatre, my biggest pet peeve is a talker. Sitting outside for a drive-in or a mobile screen, discussion is almost expected. While watching the local film society’s best-of-the-fest rehash from last year’s ShortFest, we were honored with the presence of Capt. Obvious behind us.
During a German short (“Wolves in the Woods,” by B.J. Schwartz), the subtitles were hidden for the first half of the seven minute film, involving kids jumping in and out of bushes. Upon fixing the snafu, CO exclaimed, “Oh! They’re playing hide and seek!” -- because goodness knows that’s a game that requires translation.
The second film was located on a desolate Mad Max-like planet, with a man, woman, dinosaur and robot desperate for a little H2O (Juan Carlos Vargas chose to shorten the title to “Man vs. Woman”). It took awhile, but after a few mini battles occurring over the world’s only puddle, CO finally realized, “They want water!”
Madeleine Olnek’s “Hold Up” involved an oddly narcissist robber taking along her fiancé for the thrill of their first hit. Turns out she just wanted an excuse to see her old girlfriend. I think CO was a little confused by this triangle, as he could only focus on the fiancé’s befuddlement and stated, “He wants to get out of there.”
A very cool, Tim Burton-y short involved a little girl who feels misplaced in an Edward Scissorhands suburbia, in Derek Flood’s surprisingly touching “Emelia: The Five-Year-Old Goth Girl”. As Emelia’s parents zombied out in front of the boob tube, CO expertly perceived, “They’re watching TV.”
Aliens in human form and fezzes inspect Earth in Stephen O'Regan’s “They're Made Out of Meat”. The entire diner dialogue involves the creatures’ fascination with the fact that humans consist entirely of meat. As the aliens were surrounded by customers, CO was inquiring as to the location of this mystery meat.
The final short was Paul Franco’s creepily animated, “Ned at the DMV.” In hot pursuit of his missing driver’s license, the ID smacks against his windshield. CO was, of course, quick to point out its location.
Captain Obvious: for when you’re confused about what’s happening right in front of your face. At a theatre near you.
Comments (1)
I always like to sit by Cap'n Obvious. Otherwise, I never know what the hell's going on.
Posted by Brian | May 14, 2007 10:47 PM
Posted on May 14, 2007 22:47